If Student Employees Made The Office Dress Code

By Victoria Robertson on July 11, 2015

At one point or another, every recruiter has had to deal with reprimanding a student that just can’t seem to adhere to the dress code. Whether it’s a female that’s wearing something a little too showy for the office, or a male that doesn’t seem to know jeans (even if they are black) aren’t very professional, it happens all the time.

But what if the tables were turned?

Employers probably wouldn’t like it, but I guarantee you there would be too many happy employees to count: here is exactly what work would look like if student employees made the office dress code.

Yoga pants would be mandatory for all females.

The staple of every lazy female’s wardrobe would be a requirement in all work environments. College campuses everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief; women no longer need to give up their favorite item of clothing when entering the professional world. Congratulations Victoria’s Secret, you win.

Beards … beards everywhere.

For some reason, men just don’t appreciate the clean-shaven requirement enforced by most workplaces. So you best believe the second there’s a little slack in this area, they’re taking full advantage. No Shave November is about to become a national crisis.

Comfy shoes or none at all.

Most girls hate heels. Fashionable shoes typically aren’t comfortable, and I think men can agree that wearing boat shoes is much more comfortable than those black constricting work shoes. So it’s either comfy shoes or none at all — take your pick people.

Sweaters for life.

Who doesn’t love a good, comfy sweater? Student workers certainly do. Why be uncomfortable all day when you can throw on that oversized sweater and sit in complete bliss? I think it’s pretty obvious.

Ripped doesn’t matter.

The ripped jeans trend doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon, and why should it? Paying extra for holes in your clothes seems brilliant, am I right? So you can bet that if students made the dress code, ripped jeans would be essential in all business attire.

No more button-up, collared shirts.

This is self-explanatory. I mean seriously, talk about constricting. Who wants to feel like they’re choking all the time? No one. These are stupid shirts.

Graphic tees would be a welcome addition.

How else would student workers express themselves than by wearing those Pink Floyd tees? Or those tees with Shakespearean quotes that scream you were an English major in college? Or really anything at all you can buy from Forever 21? Literally anything.

Tattoos, piercings, hair color and nails – none of it would matter.

Students are sick of hearing their tattoos etc. are “inappropriate.” Everyone would be free to express themselves as they pleased and these embellishments wouldn’t get a second glance. So he has a metal rod running through his eyebrow: good for him. So she has blue hair: that’s kinda cool.

No more blazers.

I mean seriously, do those things need to cost a small fortune? It’s uncomfortable fabric made to make us look like children in adult’s clothing. And while you’re at it, women don’t need shoulder pads. We just don’t.

Dressing up would be optional.

While we won’t require that men wear suits or women wear dresses, we will strongly suggest that they do. We all know they look good in them, so why deny it? If you’re feelin’ fancy, go for it.

No more unfair, finger-length rule.

All females hate this rule. Absolutely hate it. Everyone’s body is very different, so why apply the same rule to everyone? “If your finger tips are longer than the bottom of your shorts, they’re inappropriate.” Stupid rule. You no longer apply.

All styles would be welcome.

Whether you define your style as gothic, preppy or lazy, all styles would be welcome under this dress code. Student dress codes are careful to include everyone, and so everyone’s personal style is completely welcome within the student-run dress code.

It may not be the most orthodox of dress codes, but at the very least, there would be no more arguments with the student employees about whether or not what they’re wearing is appropriate.

But maybe it’s a good thing that employers make the dress code … but still. We can dream, can’t we?

By Victoria Robertson

Uloop Writer
University of Illinois
Victoria is a dedicated writer who graduated from the University of Illinois with a Bachelor of Arts in English. She currently writes freelance pieces for various sites and works in Marketing for Myndbee Inc., promoting their current mobile app, Picpal.

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