Keeping Things Professional: Setting Boundaries With Your Babysitter

Babysitters are the saving grace of every busy parent. They’re there to pick up the slack, keep a close eye on the kids, and make sure you have the space you need to keep yourself sane. However, balancing your sitter’s responsibilities with adequate boundaries is a difficult task and an incredibly important one. Boundaries are there to protect both you and your sitter and to ensure your professional relationship remains productive and stays professional. If you’re looking to set boundaries that work for you and your sitter, here’s our advice on steps you can take.

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Set Boundaries from Day One

To begin our list, it’s essential for you as an employer to set boundaries with your sitter from the moment they’re on the job. The last thing you want is to miscommunicate an issue early on and then have to undo weeks or months’ worth of harm that sprung from a simple mix-up. Your sitter is only human and it’s your job as an employer to communicate effectively with them once they enter your employ. Work to set boundaries with them at the earliest opportunity, it’ll save you a lot of difficulty in the long run.

Revise Boundaries As You Go

While it’s crucial for you to discuss boundaries early on, it should be noted that the boundaries you set initially will almost certainly be different than the ones you’ll end up using in a few weeks or months. Whether it’s because you forgot something, your situation changed, or some other reason entirely, your boundaries should be reflexive and subject to revision moving forward. Whether your babysitter needs to change the way things operate or because you or your family have to alter things, it’s important that your boundaries be readily adaptable to the situation as events change.

Set Expectations

There’s a difference between expectations and boundaries, and in setting your boundaries, you should think about your expectations. How much time do you expect your sitter to put in? What do you expect your professional relationship to look like? What are your expectations for the childcare your sitter provides when you’re away? Boundaries are composites of your desires, your limits, and various other factors. Knowing what you expect and communicating that to your sitter will help ensure your boundaries are well respected and understood, as they should be.

Set Limits

This one should be familiar as we just mentioned it, but it’s definitely an important factor to consider. Your limits are another component of your boundaries just like your expectations, and they’re just as important — if not more so! Your limits help determine where you set boundaries. What form of relationship are you absolutely not ok having with your babysitter? What forms of behavior completely go against your comfort? What should they not do when watching your children? Limits are the most important component of your boundaries. By paying close attention to your limits, you’ll be able to set boundaries that keep you and your family comfortable and safe.

Respect Your Sitters Boundaries Too

When it comes to boundaries, your feelings aren’t the only ones that matter in this instance: your sitters’ matter a great deal too. While the boundaries you set are there to keep you, your family, and your professional relationship safe and secure, your sitter will also have boundaries it is your duty to respect. When hiring them, ask where their boundaries are. Are they unable or unwilling to work on certain days or at certain times? Are they uncomfortable with certain desires you have when it comes to taking care of your children? How do they want your relationship as employer and employee to be structured? Your sitters’ boundaries are an important part of the equation, so make sure you factor them in while structuring your mutual relationship.

Friendliness vs. Professionalism

Your relationship with your sitter should be kind, courteous, and friendly — we doubt anyone would argue otherwise. However, there are lines that need to be drawn between you as part of your boundaries: the line between friendliness and professionalism. Kindness is well and good, but at the end of the day it’s important to remember that you are an employer paying for a service, that’s all. You should not be involved in your sitter’s life to a degree they find uncomfortable — cursory friendliness and interest are of course absolutely fine. Similarly, your sitter is your employee; you shouldn’t be sharing your great personal and financial woes or otherwise involving them in an overly familiar way in your life. Kindness is wonderful, but be sure to honor the balance between it and professionalism.

Babysitting comes with many hurdles — bedtime, separation anxiety, and safety to name but a few — but one issue that many parents may fail to consider is setting boundaries with your sitter. With this list, you should now be well informed on how to set — and maintain — healthy boundaries with your sitter to get the best out of your working relationship. Good luck!